Archive for April, 2009

“Funny” Cards, Volume 2: I Just Dropped In to See What Condition My Condition Was In

Thursday, April 30th, 2009 by Nerdicus Finch

A few weeks ago, we kicked off Nerd Baseball’s periodic “Funny” Cards feature with my incredibly literal take on Steve Trout. Now we have another attempt at humor by my 11-year-old self.

There are so many disturbing things about this particular “funny” card. Here they are, in no particular order (feel free to add your own in the comments):

  1. The fact that there are two Kenny Rogers, one who pitches and one who sings is probably the most obvious joke I could have made. It’s hard to overstate just how unfunny this is.
  2. For some reason, I drew a bass guitar. I don’t think Kenny Rogers was a bass guitarist. I don’t think he was an anything guitarist. 
  3. I bothered to draw tuning pegs on the headstock of the guitar, but didn’t bother to have the guitar strings attach to the tuning pegs.
  4. I didn’t bother to look for a non-action shot card of Rogers to use, which could have produced a much more realistic guitar playing impression. Instead, I used this card, so it looks like he’s throwing the guitar, rather than playing it.
  5. Kenny Rogers was playing major league baseball in 1991. Didn’t he play last year?

 

Yikes.

Yikes.

Rafael Landestoy

Thursday, April 30th, 2009 by I Love Nerd York City

Donruss Employee A: I think we need to use a different picture.  His face is covered in shadow, and the picture is way blurry.  Oh yeah, and the grass kind of looks orange.
Donruss Employee B:  Fuck it.

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Major League Baseball player, or younger version of Babu Bhatt from Seinfeld?

Major League Baseball player, or a young Babu Bhatt from Seinfeld?

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Why I avoid sports talk radio.

Wednesday, April 29th, 2009 by I Love Nerd York City

I get it…I should know better…but this evening, while driving, I clicked over to ESPN Radio for a few minutes. During this time (two minutes, max) I happened to hear the host interviewing Steve Phillips about the Mets. More specifically, they were talking about Oliver Perez’s struggles, and they said the following things (paraphrased by me):

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Ed Hearn

Monday, April 27th, 2009 by I Love Nerd York City

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hearn-ed

Mario Mendoza

Thursday, April 23rd, 2009 by I Love Nerd York City

Another example of Fleer just not giving a shit.

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Mendoza as in "The Mendoza Line" fame...a career .245 OBP and .262 slugging pct.

Mendoza as in "The Mendoza Line" fame...You see that look on his face? Either he just got look at his own batting stats (a career .245 OBP and .262 slugging pct), or someone just farted.

The only way the quality of the 1982 Fleer set makes sense is if they somehow got in a time machine and commissioned my high school basic photography class to take their photos. Even then, I’m pretty sure Mr. Carter gave us the f-stop and framing lessons within the first week. Take away the red border and this shabby baseball card becomes a post-modern work of art…The white of Mr. Mendoza’s jersey fading seamlessly into the bright white of the sky illustrating the fine line between existence and nothingness…OK, no more drinking on weeknights…

NY Post got it right…

Tuesday, April 21st, 2009 by I Love Nerd York City

I’m the first one to jump on the reactionary coverage the Mets receive from the New York sports media, but I’ve got to give credit when it’s due.

In today’s NY Post, Bart Hubbuch’s article addresses the head-scratching manner in which Mets’ management has treated Ryan Church.

From sending Church on a cross-country flight after his concussion, to the threatened platoon with Fernando Tatis, to the signing of Gary Sheffield, Hubbach covers all of the moves that make the organization seem like a passive-aggressive girlfriend who is trying to get her guy to break up with her.

Very hard to understand when you see that Church OPS’d .869 last April and .976 last May (pre-concussions), and is OPS’ing 1.018 to start this season.  While he’s probably not going to be able to keep that up, we’re still talking about a pretty good player.

Baseball Media Watch: John Sterling Drops Kurosawa Reference; Suzyn Waldman Irritates

Tuesday, April 21st, 2009 by Nerdicus Finch

Anyone who watched SportsCenter on Sunday night is probably aware of the bizarre play that occurred late in the Yankees-Indians game on Sunday afternoon. Jorge Posada hit a fly ball that either: (1) cleared the wall and was a home run; (2) hit off the top of the wall and then landed on the field; (3) hit a fan who was leaning over the wall and was fan interference; or (4) hit a fan that wasn’t leaning over the wall. There were probably other options, but the point is that it resulted in a difficult call for the umpires, especially since the Yankees were trailing 3-2 at the time and a home run would have given them a 4-3 lead.

I was driving to Home Depot at the time and was listening to the game on WCBS radio. What followed was five irritating minutes from Suzyn Waldman during which she harped nonstop on the fact that the umpires should use instant replay to review the play, even though it was obvious to everyone that they were going to use replay given the ambiguity involved. After the umpires finished their on-field conference, they indicated that they would use instant replay, prompting Waldman to exclaim smugly: “Thank you very much.” Congratulations to Waldman for pointing out the obvious.

John Sterling, however, took the edge off my frustration with Waldman by strangely dropping an Akira Kurosawa reference. Sterling, discussing the fact that, even after watching the replay, it was hard to figure out what exactly happened, said (I’m paraphrasing): “This is like Rashomon – show this replay to three different people and you might get three different interpretations of what happened.” Even though I think there were four different perspectives in Rashomon, I’ll cut Sterling a break because it was a great reference. Now if I could only get him to stop all of his goofy home run calls (incidentally, once Posada’s hit was ruled a home run, Sterling said: “Jorgie, as they say, juiced one,” even though Sterling is the only one that says that).

Another irritating moment during the broadcast occurred when Sterling and Waldman were discussing the strangely high number of home runs hit during the first few games at the new Yankee Stadium. Sterling said he would be perfectly happy if the new stadium turned out to be a bandbox because he likes seeing home runs and enjoys high scoring games. Waldman disagreed, stating in her best “in awe of Yankee history voice” (I’m paraphrasing again):  “But that’s never what the Yankees have been about.”

It’s hard to overstate the silliness and inaccuracy of Waldman’s comment. From 1996 – 2007, the Yankees averaged 896 runs scored per season, which works out to approximately 5.5 runs per game over twelve seasons. This includes the so-called “dynasty” of 1996 – 2001. All of Waldman’s handwringing over the recent Yankee championship teams being built on pitching and defense overlooks the huge numbers of runs that these teams scored.

Again, Sterling to the rescue. He was spot-on in his response to Waldman’s comment: “Well, uh, they didn’t call them the Bronx Bombers for nothing.”

Lenn Sakata

Monday, April 20th, 2009 by I Love Nerd York City

Some interesting things to note about Mr. Sakata:

1) He was the 2nd ever Asian American to play Major League Baseball.

2) He was part of one of the coolest sounding games ever — On August 24, 1983 the Orioles rallied to tie their game against the Blue Jays in the bottom of the ninth inning. While doing so, they were forced to replace their starting catcher, AND his backup, so Mr. Sakata was put behind the plate to start the 10th inning. Three consecutive Blue Jays reached first base in the top of the tenth, and each of them (thinking it would be easy to steal second with Sakata catching) were picked off by O’s pitcher Tippy Martinez. Sakata then hit a walk-off homer in the bottom of the tenth.

3) While mostly a utility player, Mr. Sakata followed the nerd M.O. of playing professional baseball without being able to hit. Over the course of his ten year career, he was employed by the Brewers, Orioles, and Yankees. He appeared in over 550 games, with a career OPS+ of 71, and a career OBP of .286. His 1984 season ranks as a particularly low-point for nerds, where he played in 108 games with 168 plate appearances and an OPS+ of 33!!! On the bright side, you’ve got to love the hair.

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sakata-lenn2

Greg Minton

Thursday, April 16th, 2009 by I Love Nerd York City

Today we offer part one in the ongoing series, “Can You Believe That This Is An Actual Baseball Card That The Fleer Corporation Was Not Embarrassed to Produce and For Which People Paid Actual Money?!”

Was the photographer given a strict limit of one frame per player? Did they just roll down the window and wave the camera in Mr. Minton’s direction as they zoomed by in their car? Was the picture taken through a wet paper towel? Did the editors at Fleer think that the blurriness of the text would distract collectors from the blurriness of the picture?  I demand answers…

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Does anyone else get the feeling this guy should be wearing one of those painters' cap Pirates uniforms?

Does anyone else get the feeling this guy should be wearing one of those painters' cap Pirates uniforms?

Nick Swisher: Definitely Not Nerdy

Tuesday, April 14th, 2009 by Nerdicus Finch
Nick Swisher is awesome.

Nick Swisher is awesome.

Anyone catch the highlights from the 15-5 beating the Rays gave the Yankees last night? The only highlight for the Yankees was Nick Swisher, who hit a home run off Scott Kazmir and then pitched a scoreless eighth inning. Of the five pitchers used by the Yankees, Swisher was the only one to toss a scoreless inning.

So how did Swisher’s inning go? B.J. Upton walked, Willy Aybar singled, Gabe Kapler struck out swinging, Carlos Pena flied out, Pat Burrell flied out. Boy, I’d hate to be Gape Kapler right now.

Apparently, Swisher shook off catcher Jose Molina, even though Molina wasn’t putting down any signs.

I’ve already posted about the Swisher/Nady situation. This is just more proof that Swisher is awesome.