A very clean comedy website compiled a list of the top ten puns of all time. Their number one, all time best pun: A three legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.”
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While discussing baseball with Prof. Nerdtron this weekend, he mentioned that he recently heard John Sterling’s “An A-Bomb…FOR A-ROD!!!” call while driving through NJ Vermont. Being a Massachusetts native, he mistakenly thought this was an off-the-cuff attempt at humor. I explained that while the A-Rod home run call is so well known… that it is practically a catch-phrase for Sterling, it is by no means his only player-specific home run call pun. I was able to remember “Jorgie juiced one!!!” for Posada, “El Cap-i-tan!!” for Jeter, “Giam-bino” for Giambi, and something along the lines of “Robbie Cano, don’t cha’ know!!!”
Today, Professor Nerdtron, your education continues thanks to Wikipedia. While Sterling’s famous “The Yankees win! THEEEEEEEEEEE YANKEES WIN!!!” call is supremely annoying to all non-Yankee fans, I need to tip my hat to his pun-nickname-creating-abilities. Anyone looking to be a NY Post headline writer pay attention, class is in session:
Melky Cabrera: “The Melkman delivers!”, “It’s the Melky Way!”, “The Melkman always knocks twice!”
Robinson Canó: “Robbie Cano! Don’t you know?”, “Cano can do!”, and “A Ribbie for Robbie!”
Johnny Damon: “Positively Damonic!” and “Johnny on the Spot!” and “It’s A Johnny’s Rocket!”
Derek Jeter: “El Capitan!”, “a Jeterian swing…”, “a Jeter jolt”, and “Oh captain my captain”
Hideki Matsui: “A thrilla from Godzilla, “An Upper-Decki by Hideki!”, “The Sayonara Kid does it again!
Xavier Nady: “X marks the spot!”
Jorge Posada: “Jorgie juiced one!” and “Jorgie jacks one!”
Alex Rodriguez: “An A-Bomb from A-Rod!” and “Alexander the Great conquers again!”
Nick Swisher: “Jolly ‘Ol St. Nick!”, “Nick is positively Swishalicious”and”Nick at Night”
Mark Teixeira: “A Tex Message!” and “You’re on the Mark, Teixeira!”
Jose Molina: “Jose, can you see that!”
Bobby Abreu: “El Comedulce!” and “Bobby Abreu as sweet as candy…”
Wilson Betemit: “You can bet on Betemit!” and “For the Betemit of the Yankees, Wilson hits it out”
Jason Giambi: “The Giambino!” and “It’s a bash from the ‘stache”
Tino Martinez: “The Bam-Tino!”
Don Mattingly: “Mattingly, smashingly!”
Gary Sheffield: “The Master Sheff!” and “A Sheff Special!”
Shane Spencer: “Shane Spencer! The Home Run Dispenser!”
Robin Ventura: “And Robin becomes Batman!”
Bernie Williams: “Bernie goes boom!” and “Bern baby Bern!”
Scott Brosius: “Brosius the Ferocious!!”
Tags: home run calls, John Sterling, ny post, puns
(4.89 out of 5)
I usually hate the Sterling home run calls, but I have to admit that the Robin Ventura one is pretty great.
97% of these induce “absolute zero” level douche chills.
I’m still upset that he never used, “An H-Bomb from H-Mats!”
I used to really love John Sterling before he went crazy with the ham-fisted punning. Not that some of the lines aren’t clever, but this isn’t “The John Sterling show featuring Yankees baseball.” Great compilation, though, Nerd York City, and a great title for the post.
My favorite is for Shane Spencer, who I didn’t remember as one easily mistaken for a home run dispenser. A quick check on b-r backs this up; he never dispensed more than 10 HR for the Yankees in a season. Jorge juiced one is also pretty funny given the current ‘roid context.
If anyone out there ever gets to drive around Northern VT on a summer night, you’ll get to hear pretty much every East Coast team on AM (AM waves bounce off the atmosphere, and I’m guessing the relatively high elevation helps get a clear line of sight on the bounces). Based on a fairly large sample, it’s amazing to me that MLB’s flagship franchise easily has the worst radio team that I’ve heard.
Maybe I’m ruining a big surprise, but NYC promised me a list of puns for Mets HR calls. Based on the title of this post I’m looking forward to it.
Prof. Nerdtron: The Shane Spencer call was probably based on a small late-season sample when Spencer very briefly went gangbusters, Kevin Maas style. In Spencer’s first season in 1996, he had 73 plate appearances and hit 10 home runs, slugging .910 in the process (236 OPS+). Just like Maas, he stunk after that outburst, but I’m guessing that’s the origin of the “dispenser” call.