Click the stars to vote: 
(18 votes, average: 3.89 out of 5)
Loading ...
Another player in the “no frills mode” of nerd cards. What’s that you say? You need more convincing? Mr. Schatzader’s full name is Daniel Ernest Schatzader.
Archive for July, 2009
Dan Schatzader
Thursday, July 30th, 2009 by I Love Nerd York CityAndre Thornton
Monday, July 27th, 2009 by I Love Nerd York CityClick the stars to vote: (16 votes, average: 2.63 out of 5)
Loading ...
Here we have another high-achieving nerd. Mr. Thornton had seven seasons in which his OPS+ was 123 or greater, made two all-star games, won the Roberto Clemente Award in 1979, and won a silver slugger award in 1984. And he wore those amazing glasses.
Tony Pena
Thursday, July 23rd, 2009 by I Love Nerd York City
Mr. Pena was a four time Gold Glove winner, and a five time All-Star. He managed the Kansas City Royals from 2002-2006, and has been a base/bench coach for the New York Yankees since then.Jay Johnstone in action…
Tuesday, July 21st, 2009 by I Love Nerd York CityJay Johnstone
Monday, July 20th, 2009 by I Love Nerd York CityClick the stars to vote: (24 votes, average: 3.58 out of 5)
Loading ...
Order of business #1: You can cover that umbrella hat in Budweiser cans all you want, but that doesn’t detract from the nerdiness of wearing it in the first place.*
Order of business #2: We need more “Jay Johnsones” in Major League Baseball. From Wikipedia:
[Johnstone] pulled off a number of infamous pranks during his playing days, including placing a soggy brownie inside Steve Garvey’s first base mitt, setting teammate’s cleats on fire (known as “hot-footing”), cutting out the crotch area of Rick Sutcliffe’s underwear, locking Dodger manager Tommy Lasorda in his office during spring training, dressing up as a groundskeeper and sweeping the Dodger Stadium infield in between innings, nailing teammate’s cleats to the floor, and replacing the celebrity photos in manager Lasorda’s office with pictures of himself, Jerry Reuss and Don Stanhouse. He also once dressed up in Lasorda’s uniform (with padding underneath) and ran out to the mound to talk to the pitcher while carrying Lasorda’s book and a can of Slim Fast.
As a baseball announcer, he once covered a microphone with a scent of stale eggs then proceeded to interview Dave Stewart, Mickey Hatcher and other players.
Johnstone struck out looking against Dave Spiwack in the top of the first inning in the movie Naked Gun.
*Let it be noted that I’m anticipating a return of the “nerd vs. dork” controversy in reference to the umbrella hat.
Mike Cubbage
Thursday, July 16th, 2009 by I Love Nerd York CityClick the stars to vote: (17 votes, average: 4.06 out of 5)
Loading ...
Mr. Cubbage hit for the cycle on June 27, 1978. Mets fans may remember him as their interim manager for seven games in 1991, and Red Sox fans may remember him as their interim manager after Joe Kerrigan was fired in spring training of 2002.
Congrats to the 2009 Nerd-All-Stars, and starting with Mr. Cubbage, new nerds will be eligible for the 2010 Nerd-All-Star-Team.
Your 2009 Nerd All-Stars!
Tuesday, July 14th, 2009 by Prof. Nerdtron 30001b: Jim Breazeale (4.31/5) had a strange career and amazing glasses. He’s bringing a 284/402 career OBP/SLG to the team, providing borderline offense at a position the nerds had hoped for some offense. Breazeale had a rather unobstructed path to the inaugural Nerd All-Star Team, beating out only one other 1b-man.
2b: Fred Manrique (4.74). The glasses. The hat. The smile. The ‘stache. Plato philosophized that we could never realize idealized forms. If only he had met Mr. Manrique …
3b: Kelly Paris (3.93) never expected to find himself on any All Star team. He is clearly overwhelmed by the news, take a look at his photo.
ss: Mario Mendoza (4.29) already carries one of baseball’s greatest honors by having his name memorialized in association with atrocious offense. Now he can add a Nerd All-Star selection. His card is a permanent monument to mediocrity. Poor framing, no contrast, and only a one-and-done approach can explain his facial expression. Maybe the photographer was inspired by a typical Mendoza AB.
c: Carl Nichols (4.25) Carl Nichols has a post entitled “The Many Faces of Carl Nichols,” but WordPress has decided that this should be abbreviated to “The Man Faces of Carl Nichols.” Nichols ’88 card clearly made an impact on our blog software. Maybe by the time the ’89 card photo was taken, Nichols already he knew he was out of Baltimore, drastically improving his mood. Or maybe Mr. Nichols was bipolar.
of: Max Venable (4.74) puts other nerds to shame. He may not have known what to do with a bat, but the man is maestro with the specs.
of: Gabe Gross (4.57). Maybe every All-Star team needs some controversy. Gross is my vote. Here we have a sad man with glasses and a powder blue Phillies uniform, which doesn’t scream nerd to me. On an unrelated note, why do the Phillies sometimes use a rho in place of a ‘P’? Are they trying to win over my inner math nerd? It’s working, Phillies.
of: Dave Collins (4.21) He looks so inauspicious. Maybe that’s why no one commented on his page. Don’t fret, Dave Collins, you’re the third highest rated nerd OF.
sp: Orel Hershiser (4.88) Others have lionized Hershiser better than I. His nerd-dom is unquestionable. Without a hat, glasses, or facial hair he stands alone as the giant of nerd baseball.
rp: Keith Atherton (4.71) The first time I saw the Keith Atherton card was like the first time I fell in love. I don’t think I’ll ever forget that ridiculous ‘stache, the strangely placed hat, and the overall appearance of complete futility.
Last Chance to Vote!
Monday, July 13th, 2009 by I Love Nerd York CitySince the 2009 Home-Run-Derby takes place tonight, let’s take a minute to salute the players who the Home-Run-Derby forgot. The nerds we’ve come to appreciate for their glasses, facial hair, and all-around resemblance to caricatures of high school principals and accountants.
There will be no new nerd today to avoid having any nerd card sneak into the starting lineup with a small sample size aberration.
Consider this your last chance to rate the previous nerds, and help us select the starting lineup of the 2009 Nerd-All-Star-Team.
Come back tomorrow for the announcement of the starting lineup.
Ryne Duren
Thursday, July 9th, 2009 by I Love Nerd York CityClick the stars to vote: (14 votes, average: 4.57 out of 5)
Loading ...
And don’t forget to vote for the 2009 Nerd All-Star Team. Only a few days left…
Thanks to the reader who tipped us off to Mr. Duren. Unfortunately the nerd archives were Duren-free, but I was able to track this image down online.
If strikeouts are fascist, walks are selfish
Tuesday, July 7th, 2009 by Vorpy McNerdGwen Knapp of the San Francisco Chronicle wrote a piece on the Giants’ Pablo Sandoval, who had a monster game yesterday as the team launched a PR offensive to garner votes for Kung Fu Panda as the write-in All Star.
She quotes infield coach and noted baseball strategist Shawon Dunston, who elegantly articulated the evils and selfishness of talking walks when discussing the Giant slugger:
“I’m sorry, but you walk 80 times a year, and you don’t hit .300 ever in your career, you’re not that good,” he said. “But he’s up there, putting it on the line. Guys who walk a lot, they say they have a good eye. Maybe they’re just protecting their average. They’re protecting their average, cheating the game.”
Clearly, taking a walk – and not making an out – exemplifies the unwholesome influence of Ayn Rand in baseball. As a lifelong Giants fan, I’m glad that neither Sandoval nor Bengie Molina (who at one point this season had an OBP lower than his BA!) selfishly take walks and don’t cheat the game.
After all, what’s the point of getting on base when Fred Lewis and Rich Aurilia are behind you in the lineup anyway? Walking would just pump up those useless OBP numbers at the expense of F-Lew’s GIDP numbers. That, my fellow nerds, is not what baseball is about.
