“Hey, Donruss just sent me a proof from that Studio line.”

“Yes, they did use the Ruffles shot. That’s why I’m calling.”

“No, it didn’t pick up any of his colors. It’s black and white.”

“Listen, Steve, are you sure you want to bring up the bird thing?”

“Yes… Steve… relax. I know the Grandpa Lake story. I totally respect that. I’m just concerned that this makes you… stand out a little.”

“No. No one else is posing with an animal.”

“Dykstra? No he’s just holding a bat.”

“No, Carlton Fisk did not bring the turtle.”

“Alright, fine, but can we at least change the narrative?”

“Right now it says: ‘raising birds, learning Esperanto, and needlepoint.’ ”

“No, do NOT switch to the needlepoint shot. Well stick with Ruffles and I’ll just make up some other hobbies.”

“No, I think they’re sticking with Darren Daulton behind the plate. Sorry.”