I know this may sound like I’m beating a dead horse, but in last weekend’s Red Sox vs Dodgers game, literally minutes after the exchanges that I’ve already posted, Tim McCarver and Joe Buck discussed one of the most absurd stories since…well, ever.  The following dialog is transcribed, verbatim, from last weekend’s FOX baseball broadcast*:

McCarver: Well along the comical lines, the Dodgers did have enough money to hire a physicist who was hired to send positive energy waves to the Dodgers, his name was Vladimir Shpunt.  He was a Russian physicist.  I mean, to my knowledge, no major league team has ever hired anybody along those lines.

Buck: And Vladimir is considered one of the top three Russian physicist healers who specializes in beaming positive energy from his home in Massachussettes to a team in Major League Baseball.

McCarver: And the funny thing, he’s only been to Dodger Stadium one time, the other games he watches on television.

Buck: But did anybody know he was there?

McCarver: Well he could be sending positive energy waves right now as we speak on our telecast!

Buck: Which brings up a good point, if youre willing to hire him once for the positive energy vibes, shouldn’t that be like a lifetime deal?  Do you ever want to say “Hey this isn’t working out Vladimir, we can’t afford to bring you back” and now youre dealing with a Russian physicist healer who’s thinking negative energy vibes?

McCarver: That’s right he could…you’d see the flip side of it with the negative energy vibes, that’s right. Haven’t thought of it like that.

Buck: I don’t think you want to play with something like that.

McCarver: No you’d have to keep him on the payroll forever.

Buck: No truth to the rumor that he could make Tommy Lasorda levitate…from his home in new England.
[Adrian Beltre single]

Buck: Vladimir Shpunt was part of the Dodger payroll from 2004 – 2008.

*I should note that neither McCarver nor Buck were taking the story seriously, and they were having a laugh about it.  However, the story makes more sense to me if you substitute “psychic” for “physicist,” as the existence of “positive energy waves” was not covered in any physics course that I’ve ever taken.  Don’t know if Mr. Shpunt actually bills himself as a physicist, or if McCarver and Buck were just a bit confused over the reality of physics.

Tags: baseball, Dodgers, FOX, joe buck, levitation, miss cleo, positive energy waves, psychic, russian physicist, tim mccarver, tommy lasorda, vladimir shpunt

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