Gwen Knapp of the San Francisco Chronicle wrote a piece on the Giants’ Pablo Sandoval, who had a monster game yesterday as the team launched a PR offensive to garner votes for Kung Fu Panda as the write-in All Star.

She quotes infield coach and noted baseball strategist Shawon Dunston, who elegantly articulated the evils and selfishness of talking walks when discussing the Giant slugger:

“I’m sorry, but you walk 80 times a year, and you don’t hit .300 ever in your career, you’re not that good,” he said. “But he’s up there, putting it on the line. Guys who walk a lot, they say they have a good eye. Maybe they’re just protecting their average. They’re protecting their average, cheating the game.”

Clearly, taking a walk – and not making an out – exemplifies the unwholesome influence of Ayn Rand in baseball. As a lifelong Giants fan, I’m glad that neither Sandoval nor Bengie Molina (who at one point this season had an OBP lower than his BA!) selfishly take walks and don’t cheat the game.

After all, what’s the point of getting on base when Fred Lewis and Rich Aurilia are behind you in the lineup anyway? Walking would just pump up those useless OBP numbers at the expense of F-Lew’s GIDP numbers. That, my fellow nerds, is not what baseball is about.