“There’s certain guys who you’ll pay to see play. Albert Pujols you’ll pay for, Ichiro you’ll pay for. Ryan Braun, unless you’re in Milwaukee, no one’s paying to see him play…even though he’s better than 98% of the guys on the Yankees.”

Now I understand he’s making a point here that small market guys don’t get the respect that they may deserve, but the Yankees have a 25 man roster that includes C.C. Sabathia, Mark Teixeira and Alex Rodriguez. Mathematically, being better than 98% of the Yankees means there’s not one current Yankee who’s better than Ryan Braun. Maybe that’s true, but I’d like some evidence.

“It’s kind of like movie stars. Yeah people say Johnny Depp is an amazing actor, but he doesn’t get me out to the theatre. William H. Macy gets me out to the theatre. When I see that William H. Macy is in a movie, I know that he his a smart man, and he only attaches himself to good projects and high quality scripts.”

Don’t get me wrong, I think Mr. Macy is a fine actor. Loved him in Boogie Nights, Magnolia, Fargo, etc. But to say that he only attaches himself to high quality scripts? After a quick glance at IMDB, I doubt Mr. Cowherd is talking about “The Boy Who Loved Trolls,” “Down Periscope,” “Jurassic Park 3,” or “Wild Hogs.”

“And much like some ballplayers take over a series despite not being the marquee name, Macy dominates every movie he’s in even if he’s not the biggest name. Take “Wild Hogs” for instance. He’s up there with John Travolta, Tim Allen, Martin Lawrence…but he dominates the movie.”

Oh…

“Think about this situation we have right now in the American League. Justin Morneau, Mark Teixeira, Kevin Youkilis all at 1st base. We’re talking three Hall of Fame guys right there.”

Teixeira and Morneau are in the middle of their 7th seasons. Youkilis is in the middle of his 6th season, and 4th as a full time player. I’m just saying…

“Now Justin Morneau, you just watch this guy and you know you’re seeing something special. Watch him hit a ball to the gap and you know you’re seeing a special talent. Watch him strike out and you know you’re seeing a special player. Let me tell you, I’m from Seattle, grew up a Mariners fan. So in 2003, Morneau’s first year in the bigs, I’m at Safeco Field for a Twins vs. Mariners game. And he walks up to the plate, and I say to my buddy, ‘This guys is going to be a 10-time All-Star. A perennial .300 hitter. First time I see him, you know something’s special. So he goes on to have a 13 pitch at-bat, fighting, fighting, and finally laces a double to the gap.

What a story. It’s nice to think that some people have that “something special” that can instantaneously speak to you. But when I think of guys who are considered to have “it,” didn’ two teams pass on Michael Jordan? Didn’t every team pass on Albert Pujols 12 times before he was chosen in the 13th round? Wasn’t Mike Piazza a courtesy pick in the last possible slot in the draft? What happened to Kevin Maas? How many teams passed on Tom Brady? According to Baseball Prospectus, only 51% of 1st and 2nd round draft picks ever play in a major league game…coming out of high school or college, scouts certainly thought those guys had “it.”

Oh yeah, and besides my cynicism, Mr. Cowherd’s Morneau story is completely made up. Morneau played in 40 games in 2003, none of them in Seattle. He did play agaisnt the Mariners, but his one hit against them was not a double. That was six years ago, though, and we all know eyewitness memories are flawed. Maybe he meant 2004.

Morneau played in 74 games in 2004, and 3 of them were in Seattle…but no doubles.

In 2005, 141 games, no doubles in Seattle.

In 2006, 157 games…MVP award yes…but no doubles in Seattle.

2007, 157 games…no doubles in Seattle.

In fact, Justin Morneau didn’t hit his first double in Seattle until August 4th, 2008. Seriously. Check his career game log.

We all know Morneau is awesome. If he keeps up his pace this year, he will have had an OPS+ of greater than 120 in five out of his first seven seasons. So why make this up? Were it true, would a fairytale story like this be more impressive than empirical evidence of Morneau’s awesomeness?

I need to get my Sirius back.